Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Comparison Game

As mothers, it is easy to get caught up in the game of comparison.

We compare our own children to each other in casual conversations with friends at the park: "Oh, Bobby started walking at 9 months, but my youngest Sarah started walking at 15 months. He always seems to be ahead of where she is."

Or you hear mothers comparing their children to other children:

Mommy 1: My daughter knew her ABC's at 2.

Mommy 2: Yeah, my son isn't there yet.

Mommy 1: Oh, I'm sure he'll get there (said with a twinge of satisfaction).

I hear it all the time. And there is not a doubt in my mind that I've played into it from time to time. It gets the best of us. Ugh.

Not only do I compare my kids to other kids, but I compare myself to other mamas all the time. I start to feel like I should be doing more. That I am not enough. Been there before?

It's that comparison bug. Once it starts it spreads quickly and is quite contagious.

In those moments when I feel insecure and doubtful of myself, I hear this speaking to my heart:

I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb...
Jeremiah 5:1

Then I am humbled by the fact that in God's eyes we are all equal. He doesn't compare me with my Martha-esque mommy friends. God isn't keeping score. He doesn't have a condemning "bad crafter" or "impatient" sign to put on my back. He isn't keeping a tally to see which kid poops on the potty first or memorizes multiplication facts first.

That's just stuff to God. He cares about our hearts.

Instead of complaining to God about all of insecurities, let us offer praise. Let us try to replace the negative self talk with praise. Praise for arms to hug our babes, legs to chase bubbles with littles, and ears to hear "I love you" throughout the day.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14

Much love,


  1. Oh how true! What a beautiful post!

  2. Your really good at these posts! Keep it up, loving each and every one.

  3. amen. thanks so much, katie! i have been struggling here lately! xo

  4. Amen sista! This is a hard one! Love u friend!!!

  5. great post!
    Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

  6. seriously we can be our own worst enemy.
    but God made us all perfectly in his own image.
    genesis 1:27
    I love this post!

  7. oh man this made my tummy churn...in a good way. He's been speaking to me about this, the spirit of shame comes and lies to me a lot, especially with this mama comparison issue. But He's been reminding me lately that HE made ME HER mama for a reason. Thanks for sharing, really spoke to my heart today!!

  8. LOVE LOVE LOVE this. I needed this this evening. Thank you so much!

  9. oh and that was my husbands account opps!!!!

  10. i so need to soak in these words. thank you!